Forced Mental Perspective
The idea that the best way to live peacefully is to bring my will into harmony with the universe, and not the other way around, literally makes me groan and cringe. From a purely pragmatic perspective, I get it. That is obviously the way it has to be. Anything else would be an exercise in futility and lead to madness as I attempted to control everything and everyone else ineffectively. Yet still, I’m still irritated and have a terribly foul feeling rotting in the pit of my gut, a feeling as if I’ve failed at something and given up on seeing the true nature of reality somehow.
My intuition is sounding all of its alarms as if this forced perspective is some kind of manipulative hoax attempting to brainwash the reality of the situation from my mind. The whole viewpoint feels like a cheap parlor trick that’s trying to seduce me into acceptance of the fact that, although I’m wrong, I’m OK with being wrong. That with my new and shiny mindset, willingly and woefully oblivious to its surrendering, I need not pay attention to the massive, glaring, gravitational force in the distance that is beckoning me home, if only, I hadn’t erased my mind. I wish I could shake the impression that it’s expert-level semantic trickery and a concealed version of the proverbial lipstick on a pig. I can dress this current situation up however I’d like, but at the end of the day, it’s still a pig.
If for no other reason than to make life easier on myself, I’m well aware that bending the world to my will is not an option. There are roughly 8 billion people on this planet and only one of me. Obvious to a well-functioning mind is the fact that it’s impossible to juggle millions of plates at once, let alone keep track of their interactions and guide their outcomes, as if I know best anyway.
Yet I’m still corrupted by the feeling in my heart, that by not trying, I will not ever have had a fair and accurate depiction of the reality of existence, and further still, that I’ve waived the white flag of surrender, forfeiting my candidacy to participate in the revelation. As far as I can tell this proposition to change my perspective seems like a solution to improve mental health in the short term, and maybe even the medium term, but I have my reservations as to whether or not it will prove beneficial in the long term. Although sometimes attractive, deep down I never want to secede to the adage “Ignorance is Bliss”, and that’s exactly what this feels like I’d be doing.
